What Shattered Mirrors Cannot Show
by thelinksthatconnectus
Summary: There are some things that one simply cannot let go. Written for the Elsanna Monthly Fillathon. Original prompt from Tumblr (prompt 5): We all wear masks, but which is real? The one that hides your face or the one that is your face?


It was the same knock at the door, three gentle pats that still echoed through her room, from all those years before.

Elsa's eyes wondered to the ceiling. Her vision shook slightly, and she closed her eyes once more.

No, she thought, back in some distant part of her mind. No, Anna, I don't want to build a snowman.

"Elsa, are you okay? You haven't woken up yet." She paused, giving Elsa some needed time to process her words. "Are you sick?"

For a moment, Elsa opened her eyes and looked to her still closed door. Had she locked it the night before?

"Elsa?"

"Anna," she responded. She shut her eyes once more and pulled her covers up over herself tighter. "Please go away. I'm really tired after the party last night."

"Oh."

Elsa's heart sank. Could she at least not have phrased that a little better?

"I understand." Anna yawned. "I didn't notice you there last night, but it's no wonder you came. There was so much chocolate!"

Elsa gave a small smile, even if she was the only one who could see it.

"I hope that you feel better soon. Take care of yourself."

"Of course, Anna."

* * *

It had been Anna's idea to have the party. After the return of summer (and a long list of apologies, trade deals, and treaty signings), Anna had been determined to make it the very best. After all, autumn was drawing near, and from there Arrendelle would again be covered by natural ice.

Hans had promptly agreed. He had smiled wide and wrapped an arm around Anna's waist, pulling her closer to him.

A layer of frost had formed on the papers Elsa had been holding.

Still, she could not say no to Anna, especially not when she had looked so happy asking for it. Her eyes had widened and her grin had covered her whole face.

"Of course," Elsa had responded with a firm nod. "It sounds wonderful." She looked over to Hans, meeting him directly in the eyes. She raised an eyebrow. "Shall I prepare invitations for all twelve of your brothers?"

He chuckled. The sound rang through Elsa's ears all the rest of the day; what made it worse was that the awful noise had made Anna look even happier. "No, my queen, not unless you wish to. I cannot say that all of them are the partying type."

"I see." She looked back to Anna. "What kind of party will be this?"

Anna put two fingers to her chin and paused. All the while, Hans's eyes remained firmly on her.

For a moment, Elsa again thought of gloves. She put one hand on her ice dress; no one would notice if a bit more frost formed on it.

"Not a birthday party or an anniversary. An end of the summer party sounds a little weird, and I don't think we have anything big to pretend to care about, unless you mean ice. Kristoff would love that." She giggled.

"Anna," Elsa interrupted, "do you want to arrange the party yourself?" She was busy enough already, and the longer that she stared at Hans, the more sure that she was that she would accidentally freeze the room.

Anna threw her hands in the air. "Yes, yes, yes, yes!"

Elsa gave a small smile. "I am sure that you will do wonderful."

* * *

Elsa wasn't sure whether she was awake or asleep. Anna raced through her mind - Anna showing off her new dresses, Anna riding Sven (with a very worried ice worker behind her, though the reindeer looked just as excited as the princess), and Anna stuffing her face with chocolate. Anna singing in the painting room, Anna giving Olaf a warm hug, and Anna attempting to make a blanket (she'd need a lot more practice).

Anna, Anna, Anna! Why couldn't she stop thinking of her? She was always in the back of Elsa's mind, even when Elsa knew that she had other business to attend to. After all, a country didn't run itself.

Her voice echoed through Elsa's mind, ever bright and chipper.

* * *

"My queen," Hans had said.

Elsa jumped slightly, but turned to face him.

"My apologies." He gave her a small bow. "I did not mean to startle you."

"Then what do you want? Is there further news on your courtship?" She had forced both her sister and her desired husband to take a good, long royal courtship. Anna had been perfectly fine with that, willing to wait years if it meant that she could marry Hans.

Hans had looked down to his feet when he said yes.

"Yes, it is going well." He absently scratched her arm. "That is not why I am here though."

"Then what do you need?"

"I wanted you to know that Anna wants to have a masquerade ball." He smiled. "You know, a party with fast, fun music and masks."

"I see." Elsa nodded. "Feel free to do so." She locked her hands together. "I'll get the invitations started right away."

* * *

Kristoff had taken the news well enough. "So you're going to wear an ice mask?" His eyes had lot up and he had looked down to her hands.

She shook her head.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to give myself away too easily. It is, after all, a masquerade ball. You hide yourself."

"Oh." Kristoff shrugged and pulled a carrot from his pocket. "Don't tell Sven that I all of ate this myself, okay?"

Elsa chuckled. "Your secret is safe with me." She looked back to him. "And, if you would like, I can make you an ice mask for the party. Even with that, I do believe that you will not be mistaken for me."

"You would?" He grinned. "Thank you!" He continued to eat his carrot, and Elsaheaded for the door.

For a moment, just before she opened it, she considered speaking with the ice harvester again. He was rather easy to read, and he did not bother to hide his feelings. For a number of times, Elsa had seen him look at Hans warily and clutch his handsaw tighter. Whenever Hans came around, Kristoff would turn stiff and his eyes go as cold as the ice he harvested.

She, however, stopped herself. Perhaps this room was not private enough.

Anna was always just around the corner (if only she could be even closer), and Hans was always right beside her.

* * *

Olaf had made a mask out of paper and dried noodles with Anna. The two had laughed as they created it, and Olaf had suggested making one for Sven as well.

Elsa sat in the furthest corner of the room away from them. Her face was hidden, and her eyes locked on her papers. She had already made invitations for the rulers of Corona and their daughter, a restaurant owner and her husband in New Orleans, and a letter to the rulers of Dunbroch. She still had many more to go (and perhaps even a few to Hans's brothers if she felt like it).

She would have recognized those footsteps anywhere. Elsa turned her head and met Hans's eyes as he walked across the room; Anna was too busy focusing on Olaf to notice that he was gone.

"Yes?"

"I just noticed that you looked busy, my queen. Would you like some help?"

She shook her head. "Invitations tend to be sent by the current ruler of Areandelle. Besides, it is all that I am doing for this, while you and Anna do much more. I will not burden either of you with any more work."

"Oh." Hans put his hands behind his back. "I understand perfectly."

Once he had turned around, she looked back to her piles of envelopes and paper. Would he really care if any of his brothers came? He never spoke fondly of them, if he even mentioned them at all. Besides, she didn't to find another man just like him.

From the other side of the room, Anna continued to laugh.

* * *

Anna was always so close and yet so far away. Kristoff seemed more excited with exploring the queen's powers than Elsa's own sister did.

Then again, she always had someone distracting her.

* * *

The party had come even sooner than expected. Elsa had done her best to get her costume and mask made as quickly (and discreetly) as possible in that time. She had made it herself, putting years of sewing lessons to good use. The mask had been shipped in, and she had made sure that she got it as soon as the boat arrived.

All along, Anna had only asked her a few questions about the party. She was focused enough on it already, especially since she had to see over it.

Elsa had watched her try on each costume and dress at Anna's request. Each one had a way of emphasizing a certain part of her.

"Why are you showing me this?" Elsa had asked, just after Anna had taken off a raven's mask. "Is it not supposed to be a surprise?"

"To others, yes." Anna had smiled, holding the mask to her chest. "But you're the only person that I can trust with this."

"Really?"

Anna nodded. "If I would want anyone to know that it was me, then that would be you." She winked. "Besides, I haven't decided on what I'll wear yet. You still don't know which of these that I will choose!"

* * *

The dress had covered her well, and the mask hid all of her face. Her hair was loose, yet hidden by a hood that she had added on. If she pulled it up then only her wolf mask would be seen.

She had not changed until she had given Kristoff his ice mask and locked herself once more in her room. At least she would be able to spot him if she so needed to; she would recognize her handiwork anywhere.

Some part of him seemed to understand her fear. Though he wore a far fancier set of clothes than normal, he still kept his handsaw and pickaxe with him.

Right before she finished changing, she put on a dark pair of gloves. Freezing something would do her no good. It felt a little strange, putting them on again after months of never even touching them. Still, they hid her pale fingers, and frost would only cover the inside.

She entered the party fashionably late, though no one took any notice of her. The party was in full swing. Elsa stood anonymously by the food table, absently eating chocolate. It would be a shame to miss out on it.

Still, she did not pull her mask or hood back. She may have gotten small, dark stains on her gloves and the side of her mask, but they could be forgotten.

It was easy enough to notice Kristoff. He stood to the side, a mug of what she guessed to be coffee in one hand (he never did drink any of the royal Arrandelle wine or spirits when he came for dinner, always politely refusing them), and his pickaxe in the other. His ice mask, which covered his nose, mouth, and ears, fit him perfectly.

He did not take notice of her.

From where she stood, she noticed a few others. Princess Tiana and her husband both came dressed as frogs, though their masks did not fully hide their dark skinned faces. It was the curly red hair and pale skin that made Elsa recognize Merida Dunbroch. If Elsa had made her wolf mask look dark, then it looked cute compared to the other princess's. She was dressed like a bear, as was her mother, though Merida's was far more realistic. If she wasn't so far away then she likely would have gone up to seen if it was made of a real bear.

No one came up and spoke to her, everyone keeping to themselves.

It was Hans's build and deep red hair that made Elsa recognize him. She clutched her piece of chocolate tighter, but did not look away from him.

Anna was not beside him, and he simply roamed around and spoke to those as he pleased. His mask was simple, pure white with small bits of dark blue trimming on the edges; it covered his eyes and sat on the tip of his nose.

* * *

Anna always did the strangest things in Elsa's dreams.

Still, the queen usually was happy most nights when it came time to go to bed.

* * *

Elsa had found Anna alone on a balcony. She sat on a chair and played with flowers in nearby pots. Her eyes would look up to the setting sun, and it was still possible to see them glow even with her cat mask.

If anyone was truly enjoying summer's end, then it was her sister. A party could be held inside during any time of the year.

* * *

She had always waited for Anna to ask her what she would be. While Anna changed outfits, Elsa's heart would race and small bits of snow form at her fingers.

Somehow, though she never said anything.

* * *

They had taken to a small conversation. Elsa had deepened her voice, though Anna did not hide who she was. At one point, she even took off her own mask to give Elsa a quick glimpse of her face underneath.

* * *

Anna's responses to Elsa's questions from the night before raced through Elsa's mind. However, they were cut off and disjointed, a jigsaw puzzle with half of the pieces missing. No matter how hard she tried, she could not remember a single thing that her deeper, voice had said.

* * *

Somehow they had started to kiss. It was sloppy, their masks getting in the way. Still, Elsa would never remove her mask.

This was the only way that she could think of getting her sister to do this with her. So long as she was a stranger, another woman, then everything was fine.

Anna panted slightly. "Your lips are cold."

She smirked. "Your lips taste of chocolate."

All the while, she kept her eyes open for Hans. He never appeared, nor did anyone else.

When the sun set and the shadows came, Elsa ran away. Anna did not try and stop her. Her smile had faded and she looked slightly worried.

* * *

Elsa stuffed her face with chocolate; they cane in all sorts of flavors. Some had nuts or cream inside, a few even having caramel or sweet jellies.

If she was lucky, then she would grab a piece that tasted like Anna. Those were the pieces that she savored longest.

* * *

"Elsa!"

The queen awoke again. "Anna?"

"It's us." Anna giggled.

"We knocked, but you didn't wake up."

Elsa stiffened. Of course Hans was already beside her, just as cheerful as ever.

"May we come in?" the prince continued.

"No, I am busy with something." Neither of them needed to see her ice coated room.

"Okay," Anna replied. Elsa could only imagine how she looked from behind the door. "We're going to be cleaning up from the night before if you need us."

"Anna and I had a lot of fun. I found her after chatting with a number of people."

"I was the one who found you!"

Hans chuckled. "Well, you are correct about that."

Elsa had to force herself from covering her ears.

"We'll see you later, Elsa!" Anna said.

Elsa listened to their retreating footsteps and giggles for what felt like hours. Once they were gone, she slowly worked her way out of bed. Getting down on her knees, she looked under her bed.

Her dress and mask were safely hidden away. A few other items covered them, things from Elsa's childhood that she had stuffed under their as well, making good camouflage.

Elsa turned to her dresser. She would need to get dressed and bathed to get on with the day.


End file.
